Her Fallen Angel
by windber12
Summary: How could anyone love me? I can't even find a way to love myself. *Trigger Warning* Delena-Semi-Demena


_**-This story is about a suicide and cutting, which it does go into detail about, so if that's a possible trigger for you, **__**please do not read.**__**-**_

**Mitchie POV-**

I remained still, my legs tucked under me on my bed as I scanned my eyes along the scars that led up my arms. I clenched my jaw as the tears spilled over and my breath caught. Why me? Why can't I be happy? What did I do wrong? Why am I being punished? I just want the pain to go away, I just want to be happy, I just want to be okay. That's all I've ever wanted... but instead, I've been taken over by the demons inside my head. No one knows, no one would understand. They'd only say that I have a good family, I have friends, I have good grades, how could I not be happy? If I knew, though, I wouldn't be like this. I wouldn't be decorated in scars. I wouldn't be wishing to jump in front of the next incoming car. I wouldn't be hating everything I am... but sadly... that's just how I am, and they will never know. Sometimes I just wish someone could see through my fake smile, look into my eyes, and tell me it'll all be okay.

A buzzing in my pocket replaced the numb feeling that had taken over me, so I tugged out my phone and a text popped up. I tapped 'open' and it was a text from my girlfriend, Alex. I really didn't want to read it or reply, not right now, not when I felt like this. I had other things I wanted to do right now in mind, but I read it anyway, "Hey, beautiful, my family's out for the week, come over?" My eyes drifted to the collection of blades, knives, scissors, and pills in front of me, then back to my phone as I replied, "Busy right now, maybe tomorrow?" I knew she wouldn't back down, so I shut off my phone, and looked back to the pile of self-destructive weapons. I scooped up the nearest blade and rested it against my wrist. I clenched my jaw as the tears poured out and I slashed away, feeling the blood drip down onto my legs and hearing it flick onto my bed sheets.

As the amount of blood began too much for me to handle, I threw the dripping blade from my red caked hand, and I poured the pills into my hands. Not enough to die, just enough for pain and a long rest. I popped them into my mouth and lay back as my vision blurred until I blacked out.

Time passed, I had no clue how much, but I knew it had passed, because it was night when I had slipped away, but now it's daylight. I would have stayed out longer, but screaming and pounding had pulled me out of it. I squinted my eyes as I looked to my bedroom door, where the noise was coming from, and I slowly gained full consciousness.

Alex screamed and slammed her fist on my door, "Mitchie, for the love of God, please open the door! What's going on? Mitchie, I beg of you, answer me!"

I blinked a few times, rubbed my eyes, and climbed from my bed. I wobbled a bit at first, but I was stable again after a few steps. I made my way to my closet and grabbed a change of clothes, as mine was soaked in blood, and I changed quickly.

I called to Alex, "Just a second!"

I heard a deep sigh of relief from her side of the door as I hid my bloody clothes and stripped my bed of the bloody covering, which I hid as well. I stepped into my bathroom and washed over the blood that was covering my arms, and once I was satisfied with that, I pulled my sleeves down, and finally unlocked my bedroom door. The second I did, her arms were around me in a hug and her face was buried in my neck. I didn't hesitated to return the hug, her hugs were my favorite... mostly because she was my favorite person in the world.

She mumbled into my neck, "You scared me to death."

I rocked us, "Why?"

"You wouldn't answer your phone, you wouldn't open your door, I just got scared."

I shook my head, "You have no reason to be, I'm just a deep sleeper."

She pulled away and let out a nervous laugh, "Yeah, I know... I just worry."

I nodded and kissed her forehead, "I'm sorry, Lexi, I didn't mean to scare you."

Her eyes flickered to my bed, "Where's all your covers?"

I glanced behind me, then back to her, "In the wash."

She nodded, "Oh, alright... so, you sleep with nothing?"

"I was too tired to get replacements."

She chuckled and nodded, "Typical Mitchie."

I forced up a smile, "But you love me anyway."

She poked my nose, "With all my heart."

A real smile grew in return of that, "Well, since your here, wanna do something?"

She walked into my room more and scrunched up her face at something, "What's that?"

My eyes followed hers and I realized the bloody blade was still across the room. My heart raced as I tried to come up with an excuse to that, but I was drawing a blank, so I just stood frozen as she walked up to it. She knelt down and picked up the blade, staring at it, before flickering her eyes back up to me.

"Mitch... what's this?"

I slid my hands in my pockets, "Looks like a blade to me."

"Why's it bloody?"

I shrugged, "Maybe someone stepped on it."

"Then why's it in your room?"

"How should I know?"

She sighed, "Right, sorry... but um, to answer your question from earlier... no... I can't do anything today... I have to get home now. Bye, Mitch."

She pecked my cheek and disappeared down the hallway, my blade still in her hand. My heart stopped and dropped as I heard the front door open and close. I had never hated myself more than I did in that moment. I upset Alex, the girl who I only ever wanted to make happy. I lied to her, I upset her, I disappointed her. She deserves better than me, she deserves better than to put up with me, she deserves better than to know me. I should just leave, it would be doing everyone a favor. They wouldn't have to know me anymore, which is more than a blessing. If I could not know me, than hell yes, I'd agree, wouldn't think twice. Why would anyone want to know me? Or talk to me? Or love me? How could anyone love me? I can't even find a way to love me.

I spun around and made my way down the hallway until I reached the door. I glanced back once, before yanking the door open and walking to the edge of the sidewalk, where the curb met the street. A car was coming this way and I prepared to step out, but for some reason, I decided to look around first, as if to say goodbye, when my eyes landed on her. Alex was down the street a ways, walking to her house, I assume, but now she was facing me, confused as to what I was doing. I glanced to the incoming car, then back to her and I watched as it clicked inside her head and her eyes widen.

She took off running towards me, screaming, "Mitchie, baby, no!"

I slowly looked back towards the car and began to step out when I felt my body get tackled to the ground and some strangers voice filled my ears, "What are you doing? Are you not thinking? How could you even try?" I laid there on the ground, staring at the stranger as I listen to the car which should have taken my life sped past. The stranger sat there, straddling me, not saying a word, not moving, until Alex reached up, completely out of breath. She repeating thanked the girl who had stopped me, as the girl repeating said it was no problem, before she got off of me and left. Alex was quite to take the place on my stomach that the girl had formally taken.

Tears were rushing down her cheeks as she spoke, "Baby, why? You know how much I love you, don't you? You know how lost I'd be without you? God, Mitchie, I love you more than life itself... baby, you can't leave me..."

I chocked out, "I'm sorry, baby..."

"You know you can come to me when you need to, right? You know I'm here for you, right? God, baby, I... I can't live without you..."

"Babe, I..."

She licked her lips, "I love you and I swear, I'll never leave you, you're never alone... As long as I'm breathing and my heart is beating... you'll have someone to go to... you'll have someone who cares... you'll have someone who loves you more than anything in the world... You're my fallen angel, baby, and I'm going to teach you how to fly again, I promise."

"I-I... I love you so much..."

She nodded, "Baby, I know... and I love you so much more."

_**This is a one-shot unless anyone wants me to make it longer. Sorry for any mistakes, I was kinda shaky when I wrote this.**_


End file.
